To Grow or Not to Grow – That Is the Question

“The pain of growth is temporary, but the pain of unfulfillment lasts forever. On your path, choose what pain you’re willing to carry.”

Let’s imagine we’re a seed. We can stay buried in the soil – it’s warm, comfortable, and safe. But if we stay there, we begin to rot. Because being alive means growing. Growth is not really a choice. To grow is to live.

My mentee, friend, and coach Sandra Bosković – a professional athlete and entrepreneur – once shared something with me that deeply resonated. She explained what happens when athletes or even recreational exercisers take a break. And in her explanation, I recognized something I often say to my clients. Sandra used a vivid metaphor that I want to share with you.

What Happens When We Stop

Sandra said, “Once someone reaches a certain fitness level, even a break longer than two weeks leads to stagnation and a decline in physical abilities.”

I’d say this pattern applies far beyond physical training. It touches every aspect of our lives – our careers, relationships, emotional intelligence, creativity, leadership, and problem-solving skills.

Our bodies are efficient machines, Sandra explains. If we don’t give them stimulus, they quickly begin to shut down anything they deem unnecessary.

But what about our minds? Our hearts? Our souls?

Mental capacities and emotional skills may decline more slowly than muscle mass, because they took longer to build. But they do decline. We may not notice a mental dip after two weeks, like we do with cardio endurance, but months of stagnation will erode our critical thinking. Years without reading, curiosity, or leaving our comfort zone, and we lose the sharpness we spent decades cultivating. We lose the courage we fought hard to build. We lose our mental fitness and cognitive wellness.

Why We Fear the Pause

Deep down, we know what Sandra is saying is true.

I know brilliant managers who stopped investing in their growth. They believed they had already achieved enough and that their knowledge and skills would last forever. Today, they’re shadows of who they once were. Not because they made mistakes, but because they stopped.

I know people who had beautiful marriages, but thought they could stop nurturing their relationship. “Everything’s fine,” they’d say. Today they’re divorced – or living like roommates under the same roof.

And then Sandra added something that struck me:
A break of just two to four weeks leads to a significant drop in physical capacity – strength, cardio endurance, speed… which then leads to muscle loss and increased body fat.

Translated into our metaphor: when we stop growing, we don’t just lose what we had – we regress to a level below where we started. Because while we stand still, the world does not. Technology advances. Standards rise. Expectations grow. What was “enough” yesterday won’t be tomorrow.

But beyond the world – stillness is harmful for our brilliant minds.

The Cost of Coming Back – or Why It’s Better Not to Stop

Sandra’s insight about returning to previous form is painfully true for life, too:
“It takes at least half the length of your break to regain your previous fitness level – as long as the break wasn’t longer than two months. So, if your pause lasted one month, you’ll need at least two weeks of consistent training to get back on track.”

And in life? The math is often worse.

When we pause our professional growth, it can take twice as long to catch up. When we neglect our emotional intelligence, it takes even longer to rebuild the ability to understand ourselves and others. Because while we pause, others move forward. While we wait, the world evolves.

And if we’ve been on pause for longer than “two months”?
Sandra says the time needed to return grows to a 1:1 ratio. In life, it’s often even worse. Sometimes we can’t return to the previous level, because it no longer exists.

This is especially true in relationships with friends, family, or partners. Even if we want to come back, we may find there’s nowhere left to return to.

So What Can We Do?

Sandra offers a practical tip:
“Short aerobic sessions every 3–4 days can help slow down performance decline. A 30–40 minute bike ride, brisk walk, jog, or swim – it all helps.”

Translated into life terms: small, consistent doses of growth keep us in shape.

Can’t attend a big leadership seminar? Listen to a podcast while you walk.
Can’t do couples therapy? Ask your partner a meaningful question tonight.
Can’t finish a whole book? Read a page a day.
Can’t switch careers? Learn one new skill per month.

The key is consistency.

Better five minutes every day than one hour once a week.
Because just like muscles, the brain remembers continuity, not intensity.

The Question Isn’t If – It’s How

I’ve never met someone who said, “I regret working on myself so much.”
But I’ve met many who said, “I wish I had tried harder to stay at my best.”

Growth is the hygiene of existence. Growth is the daily workout of the successful. Growth is life.

Saying “I don’t have time for development” is like saying “I don’t have time to breathe.”
You can hold your breath briefly, but long-term, you’ll suffocate.

Sandra closes with this:
“Fitness declines quickly after a full stop, but even light cardio can slow the decline and help you bounce back faster when conditions improve.”

Gaga’s Message to You

Don’t wait for the perfect moment to grow. The ideal moment is now.
Don’t wait to “figure it all out” before working on yourself.
Growth is what helps you figure it all out.

And before you go, here are a few questions to keep your mental fitness sharp:

• In which area of your life have you been “on pause” lately?

• What did you stop doing, even though you know it used to help you be better?

• And more importantly: what can you do today – even just 30 minutes of light “cardio for the mind” – to stop that form from fading completely?

Because, as Sandra reminds us, you can take a break, but think carefully about how much it will cost you to come back.

And I’d add:
Will you even have the strength to come back?
Will there be anything to come back to?

Now those are questions worth reflecting on.

With gratitude to Sandra Bosković for sharing her expertise and giving me a deeper understanding of how physical and personal growth are so deeply intertwined. And for inspiring me to keep training – both my body and my stamina for life – every day.