{"id":19473,"date":"2026-03-25T15:34:35","date_gmt":"2026-03-25T13:34:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/?p=19473"},"modified":"2026-03-25T15:34:35","modified_gmt":"2026-03-25T13:34:35","slug":"what-do-the-strongest-among-us-have","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/beingsuccessful\/what-do-the-strongest-among-us-have\/","title":{"rendered":"What do the strongest among us have, and what makes us powerless?"},"content":{"rendered":"

For decades, I\u2019ve been saying the same thing in different ways: we can all do it. We can do as much as we want. If we want it badly enough, we\u2019ll find a way. They tell me I\u2019m an alien. That I\u2019m not a valid example. That I have no right to claim this, because I\u2019m me and others are others. That I\u2019m special, different, made of different clay<\/em>.<\/p>\n

But I never gave up on that idea. Because in my work with thousands of people, I\u2019ve seen the same thing over and over: some who have nothing more than others \u2014 no more talent, no more money, no more luck \u2014 become incomparably more powerful. And the reverse: some who have everything at their disposal remain soft, weak, unstable. The difference was never in what we\u2019re made of. I knew something else was at play.<\/p>\n

And then, after all those years, I returned to where I started \u2014 chemistry, my high school love. And found the argument I\u2019d been missing, one I now gladly share in my lectures. I wanted to describe it thoroughly on this blog, which means a great deal to me.<\/p>\n

One (chemical) fact that changes everything<\/h2>\n

Diamond and graphite are made of the same element \u2014 one hundred percent pure carbon<\/strong>. Not a single other atom. No impurities. No additives. Just carbon. In science, this phenomenon is called allotropy<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 the ability of a single element to exist in completely different forms.<\/p>\n

The differences are staggering. Diamond is the hardest natural material on earth, transparent, unreactive, and incredibly valuable. Graphite is soft, black, slippery \u2014 so soft it\u2019s used as pencil lead and as a lubricant for machines. One cuts through everything. The other wears away at the first touch.<\/p>\n

The only difference is structure.<\/strong> The way the same atoms are bonded and organized. Nothing more.<\/p>\n

Same story. Same ingredients. Completely different fate.<\/p>\n

We are all the same composition<\/h2>\n

We are all made of the same \u201cingredients\u201d \u2014 the same basic emotions, the same neurological hardware, the same capacity for growth. When we\u2019re born, we are all pure carbon. Full of potential, with a whole life ahead to decide what we\u2019ll do with what we\u2019re made of. Some become diamond: unbreakable, clear, valuable. Others remain graphite: functional, but soft and weak.<\/p>\n

Same element. Same potential. Different structure.<\/p>\n

For years people ask me: \u201cHow does someone with less than me achieve more?\u201d \u2014 and the reverse: \u201cHow does someone who has everything achieve nothing?\u201d The answer is always the same, only now I can say it in the language of chemistry: the problem isn\u2019t in the composition. The problem is in the structure.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And this gives me yet another powerful reason to keep saying what I believe: we can all do it.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Four ways structure makes us powerful<\/h2>\n

Chemistry teaches us four key things about the difference between diamond and graphite. Each is a lesson for life.<\/p>\n

1. Full commitment<\/h3>\n

A carbon atom has four so-called valence electrons<\/strong>. The etymology alone is worth noting: valence comes from the Latin valere<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 meaning to be strong, to be worth, to matter<\/strong>. Valence electrons are literally the electrons that count \u2014 the ones capable of forming bonds. They are the four \u201chands\u201d with which a carbon atom can hold other atoms, as our teacher Ms. An\u0111a once explained.<\/p>\n

In diamond, every atom uses all four valence electrons<\/strong> to form strong covalent bonds with four neighboring atoms. No disengaged resources. Every hand holds another hand. Every part that counts is invested<\/em>. In graphite, each atom uses only three. The fourth electron remains uninvested<\/strong> \u2014 drifting between layers, in no bond, playing no role. And that one uninvested electron per atom is what makes the entire structure weak.<\/p>\n

Now look at these three words in my native Serbian: uloga, ulo\u017eiti, neulo\u017een<\/em><\/strong> \u2014 role, to invest, uninvested<\/em>. They share the same root. How many uninvested electrons do we have \u2014 roles we haven\u2019t invested ourselves in? How many of our capacities do we keep \u201cfree,\u201d committed to no role, no bond, no goal? Many believe disengagement is freedom. Chemistry says it\u2019s weakness.<\/p>\n

Years before writing my books, I began asking people to map out who they truly are. Not just boss, not just mom, not just partner \u2014 but everything. Because most of us, I\u2019ve seen it thousands of times, live in what I\u2019d call a graphite structure: we use two or three of our valence electrons while keeping the rest uninvested. We hold tightly to some roles, while leaving others to chance and improvisation. And then we wonder why our lives fall apart under pressure.<\/p>\n

We hold tightly to some roles, while leaving others to chance and improvisation. And then we wonder why our lives fall apart under pressure.<\/em><\/p>\n

2. Resistance to impurities and environment<\/h3>\n

Diamond\u2019s crystal structure is so densely and precisely organized that impurities literally cannot wedge themselves between atoms<\/strong>. There\u2019s no room for compromise. Diamond stays pure because its structure is so tight that nothing foreign can latch on.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s not all. Diamond is chemically inert<\/strong> \u2014 at room temperature it doesn\u2019t react with acids, bases, salts, or corrosive solutions. Not even aqua regia \u2014 the acid mixture that dissolves gold \u2014 can harm it. Put it in mud, acid, extreme cold, or scorching heat \u2014 diamond remains diamond.<\/strong> Wherever you place it, it stays the same.<\/p>\n

Graphite is the complete opposite. In chemistry, there\u2019s an entire family of compounds called graphite intercalation compounds<\/strong> \u2014 substances that literally squeeze between graphite\u2019s layers and change its properties. Potassium enters between layers and graphite changes color from black to bronze. Bromine enters and its electrical properties shift. Lithium enters \u2014 and that\u2019s how lithium-ion batteries work. Graphite becomes whatever its environment inserts into it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you truly know who you are \u2014 when you add yourself up \u2014 shedding what you\u2019re not happens almost automatically. There\u2019s nothing for the foreign to latch onto. Moreover: a person with a solid structure remains the same in any environment. In mud and in comfort, in crisis and in triumph, among critics and among flatterers. A person without structure changes shape depending on who surrounds them \u2014 becoming whatever the environment mercilessly inserts between the layers of who they are and who they want to be.<\/em><\/p>\n

This is perhaps the most important lesson I\u2019ve learned in my work. We hold on to so much because we\u2019ve forgotten who we are without it.<\/em> That turns out to be chemically accurate: the weaker the structure, the more it lets through and the more it changes under environmental influence. Without an internal filter, without structure, you are who others want you to be \u2014 not who you truly are.<\/p>\n

Without an internal filter, without structure, you are who others want you to be \u2014 not who you truly are.<\/em><\/p>\n

3. Growth in all dimensions<\/h3>\n

Diamond\u2019s structure is three-dimensional<\/strong> \u2014 every atom is bonded in all directions: up, down, left, right, forward, backward. There are no weak points because there\u2019s no dimension where bonds are missing.<\/p>\n

Graphite tells a completely different story. Its bonds are organized in flat layers \u2014 surfaces<\/strong>. Within each surface, bonds are strong. But between surfaces? Almost nothing. Only weak forces. These bonds are literally superficial<\/strong> \u2014 shallow and porous. That\u2019s why graphite delaminates under pressure: it looks connected, but that connection has no depth.<\/p>\n

Most people build in one or two dimensions and think that\u2019s enough. Deep in work, but shallow in relationships. A wide network of contacts, but without depth or true understanding. Progressing in the world around us, but without peace within. These are all superficial bonds \u2014 they look impressive but become porous the moment pressure comes from a direction you haven\u2019t covered. A diamond structure demands all three dimensions: depth, breadth, and peace.<\/em><\/p>\n

Six years ago I wrote: \u201cThe path to success runs through a 3D development map made of depth, breadth, and peace.\u201d Depth without breadth is a tunnel \u2014 you get stuck in expertise and can\u2019t see the wider world. Breadth without depth is exactly that \u2014 a surface. You know a little about everything but nothing thoroughly. We reach diamond-level resilience only when we build in all dimensions simultaneously.<\/p>\n

4. Pressure that shapes<\/h3>\n

Diamonds form 150 to 200 kilometers beneath Earth\u2019s crust, under pressure exceeding 5 gigapascals and temperatures above 1,000 degrees. These extreme conditions force carbon atoms to organize into the densest and most stable structure possible. Graphite forms under far milder conditions. Without that extreme pressure, carbon simply has no reason to organize into diamond form.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The pressure we experience in life isn\u2019t the problem in itself. I often say that vulnerability doesn\u2019t make us weak. We are strong because we are vulnerable. Vulnerability actually makes you stronger. The question is whether we have an internal structure that converts pressure into strength \u2014 or whether we crumble under it. Diamond doesn\u2019t form despite pressure. It forms because of it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Diamond doesn\u2019t form despite pressure. It forms because of it.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Four electrons, four operations<\/h2>\n

And now I come to something that I found especially fascinating. We said a carbon atom has four valence electrons. Diamond uses all four. My methodology has four basic operations: Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division. My book \u201cBeing Successful\u201d has four chapters.<\/p>\n

And each operation corresponds precisely to one way diamond surpasses graphite (honestly, this wasn\u2019t intentional):<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Addition = Total commitment. <\/strong>Add up who you are \u2014 all of you. Determine your (chemical) composition. Invest all your valence electrons: every role, every capacity, every dimension of yourself. Graphite uses only three. Diamond uses all four. \u201cThe good news is \u2014 we already are everything. Add up what you carry.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n
  2. Subtraction = Resistance to impurities and environment. <\/strong>Once you\u2019ve added yourself up, subtraction happens almost automatically. A solid structure doesn\u2019t let impurities in and doesn\u2019t change under environmental influence \u2014 there\u2019s nothing for the foreign to latch onto. You don\u2019t need willpower to shed excess. You need clarity about who you are. \u201cWe hold on to so much because we\u2019ve forgotten who we are without it.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n
  3. Multiplication = Dimensionality of bonds. <\/strong>Build in all dimensions: deeply with yourself, closely with your loved ones, broadly with community, high with purpose. Don\u2019t build superficially. Build in depth, breadth, and height. Every new dimension multiplies your strength. \u201cSuccess that grows in community grows far faster than individual success.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n
  4. Division = Constructive pressure that shapes. <\/strong>By wisely sharing knowledge, experience, and value, you don\u2019t lose \u2014 you multiply. And simultaneously you create constructive pressure that shapes both you and others. Diamond doesn\u2019t form alone. The same goes for people: we grow in communities that challenge us, not in ones that spare us. \u201cSharing is not a sign of weakness, but the greatest expression of strength.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Power = to be able<\/h2>\n

    Finally, a word you hear from me often. Power. But not power as domination. For me, power is capability.<\/p>\n

    Power means you can.<\/strong> If you can do something \u2014 you\u2019re powerful. If you can\u2019t \u2014 you\u2019re powerless. Simple. No philosophizing.<\/p>\n

    So when I say \u201cwe can all do it\u201d \u2014 I don\u2019t mean it as a motivational slogan. We all have potential. We can all do more than we\u2019re doing. The question is only whether we\u2019re committed to everything within our influence \u2014 in all our roles, in all dimensions, under pressure that shapes us, with a structure that doesn\u2019t let in what doesn\u2019t belong and doesn\u2019t change depending on who surrounds us or what our circumstances are.<\/p>\n

    Light (at the end of the tunnel :)<\/h2>\n

    People tell me: \u201cWhere\u2019s the room for spontaneity if you have such a rigid system?\u201d<\/p>\n

    Chemistry answers better than I could. Diamond is transparent. Light passes through it freely \u2014 refracting, playing, creating a firework of colors. Precisely because its structure is so perfectly organized<\/strong>, there are no obstacles for light to pass through. Graphite is opaque, dull, black. Light doesn\u2019t pass. In its own chaos and illusion of freedom, it remains impenetrable to what is new, beautiful, and deep.<\/p>\n

    Structure doesn\u2019t stifle spontaneity. Structure enables transparency and freedom.<\/strong> Chaos, in the end, always creates darkness.<\/p>\n

    You deserve to be everything you can be<\/h2>\n

    You already have the material. We\u2019re all the same. The same capacities for connection, the same potential that counts, hands that can hold your entire world.<\/p>\n

    The question isn\u2019t whether you can. You can. We\u2019ve seen that.<\/p>\n

    The question is whether you\u2019ll decide to invest everything you have. To build in all roles, in all dimensions, not superficially. To embrace the pressure that shapes you. And to remain who you are regardless of who surrounds you and what they try to insert between your layers.<\/p>\n

    You deserve to be everything you can be. Anything less is too little to devote your entire unique life to.<\/p>\n

    \n

    We are not different in composition. We are different in structure.<\/em><\/strong> And structure is not destiny \u2014 it\u2019s a decision. Every day, with every choice, with every role you invest in or don\u2019t, you decide whether you\u2019ll be diamond or graphite. You already have the material. Build wisely.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    For decades, I\u2019ve been saying the same thing in different ways: we can all do it. We can do as much as we want. If we want it badly enough, we\u2019ll find a way. They tell me I\u2019m an alien. That I\u2019m not a valid example. That I have no right to claim this, because […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[848],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-19473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-beingsuccessful","odd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19473"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19473\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19478,"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19473\/revisions\/19478"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/draganadjermanovic.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}